End of the year Gratitude

It has been a really hard couple of days for me, added to all the insecurities of new year's resolutions-- I am about to lose it.

So, I have decided to hang on to the things that I am grateful for and would not want to change with the upcoming new year.

1. Tim-- He is really the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am grateful for his love, patience, kindness, faith, support, and understanding. I am grateful that I get to love him forever, and I am so glad he is the best dad for my kids. Sometimes I feel I married way above me (there are probably others thinking the same thing :-)), but he would never agree with that and he always treats me like he adores me. He is my best friend. He is the nicest person you will ever meet and he always sees the best in people. He is also a duck, and he lets things slide off his back :-). I am grateful for the thoughtful things he does for me like getting up at a deathly early hour to go to the gym so he can come home and take care of Timmy so I can go to the gym before he goes to work-- and for not wanting Timmy to go to the gym daycare. And for the special pillow he bought for me to help me sleep better so I don't feel like a semi ran over me when I wake up. Or for mopping the floor, or cooking dinner once in a while, or just doing little things everyday just to make my life easier.
2. My 3 beautiful girls-- They are all so different, but each brings a boatload of blessings to my life. I watch them grow and I have so much hope for them, and confidence that each will make the world a better place in their own special way. Lisi is very careful and puts a lot of thought into everything-- she will make sure everything is just right before she puts her plan into action. She is a good friend, very smart, sensitive, an obedient child, and talented in so many areas. She really tries to make those around her happy and comfortable. She has also been a huge help to me with her younger siblings, and I am so glad she is my oldest. Sarah is full of life and there is never a dull moment with her-- happy or sad. She has so much compassion for those around her and would drop anything to help someone who needs it. She may not do her own chores willingly, she would do someone else's, just so they could be happy and know she loves them. While she is my most challenging, I know if I get her on the right path-- she will fight to stay on it, and to keep everyone else there too. She loves little kids, and someday she will be the favorite babysitter in the neighborhood. I always say she is going to be the one that will be on the front lines fighting for what she believes in-- we just need to teach her well. Isabelle is such a happy girl, she can always make me smile. She is my little buddy all day and I enjoy her company. She has a great memory, and is disappointed when people don't remember their promises, but she is also very forgiving. She is funny and always has something to say. She loves to give hugs and smiles all the time. She has amazing faith and just knows that everything is going to turn out great. They each amaze me with who they are, and I am proud of all of them.
3. A son-- I put Timmy separate because I am amazed that I even have a son. My girls are all daddy's girls, but I think Timmy will love his mommy. I always knew that we had a little boy waiting to join our family, and I am so glad he is here-- Reflux and all. His smiles are the most precious thing to see, and he loves to cuddle. He adores his sisters and they are quite the entertainers for him. His reflux has been hard on everyone-- it is interesting the strain it puts on a family-- but we are grateful that some things have helped, and that it won't last forever. I hope I can treasure every minute I have with this little guy since he is our last. I remember feeling an emptiness when I thought I couldn't convince Tim to have one more, and now that emptiness is gone and our family is complete. I want to just save every moment with him.
4. My faith-- I am grateful for my Saviour, and for His Gospel. I have a long way to go-- I am very aware of my imperfections, but I am grateful for His love, no matter how imperfect I am. I have hope, and peace (most of the time). I have been so blessed because of my faith, and have had so many opportunities, and friends, and just plain happiness because of what I believe. I am grateful to believe, to know for myself. I get discouraged sometimes with what I am not, I am grateful to be reminded during those times that my Father in Heaven believes me, and loves me, and that He listens and answers my prayers. He really does.
5. My mom- She came and cleaned my kitchen and living room while I was out of town, and I came home and cried. I really needed that. She always knows what I need. My mom loves me no matter what-- I guess historically I could be pretty bratty (and sometimes still am), and she had the patience to get me through that. She is my friend, and she is always there for me. I am so glad that I have a mom that loves me, and my husband, and my kids.
6. My dad-- He is going to India this week, and I will miss him. He has always thought the best of me, and overlooked my faults. He gave me lots of opportunities, and encouraged me to try new things. He always said when you go to a restaurant you should never order something you can make at home, or get any other time, you should try something new. I always have and I think that philosophy can be applied to a lot of different things. He also said, no matter what profession you choose, you should make sure you are helping people better their lives. I think that really impacted my decision to go into Social Work.
7. Friends-- I have so many friends, I can't name them all here, but I am so glad I don't have to go through my everyday life alone. No matter where I have lived, I have been able to have friends and that is something I will always be grateful for. I have had friends who are the same age, 20 years older, and lots of years younger, and I am so grateful for the wisdom and advice that each of them have shared with me. I have gotten through a lot of struggles because of the love and support of friends and I appreciate them all.
8. People who love my children. People who will hold my baby top the list right now. I am ultra sensitive because of Timmy's reflux to those who do and don't hold my baby, and I just am so grateful to those who will just love him, even if he is crying, and even if he is puking all over them. It is a simple thing, but very painful when people don't hold him. I also appreciate people who love my kids enough to spend time with them, and talk to them and teach them. Today was the last day in Primary with their classes, and I am so grateful for each of the teachers that my girls have had. My girls have all loved their teachers, and they can feel the love the teachers have for them. Primary is a hard calling, and has not many visible rewards, so I am very grateful for the time the teachers spent with my girls. It is hard to live life and think of others, but I am very grateful to those who love my children, and make them a priority, and not an afterthought. Every child should feel special, and I am grateful for those people in my children's life that take the time to make them feel special.
9. I am so very grateful for people who forgive me. I am so far from perfect and I know I screw up A LOT, but I would never intentionally hurt anyone, so I am grateful to people who just plain forgive me for my faults and mistakes. I am glad there are people who put up with me and love me for who I am. I am glad there are more people that love me than hate me-- even though sometimes I forget that those who keep "why I can't stand Debbie" lists of everything I do wrong are not more important than those who burned those lists a long time ago, or never had one in the first place.
10. I guess I am also grateful for trials because without them I probably wouldn't take the time to sit and list 10 things that I am grateful for so I can refocus on what is really important.

So, maybe I will list my new year's resolutions, and maybe I won't. But, I do know on that list will be a resolution to be more grateful and treasure those things that are really important.

Thanks for the free therapy.