Perspective

Something happened this week that has been consuming my thoughts, much to Tim's dismay. I am always asking Tim, "Did I do something wrong" or "What should I do" or "Why would she think that about me." So, I am sure that I am driving him CRAZY!

Anyway, I thought I was doing something nice for someone, and I really didn't think it was a big deal. It actually wasn't a big deal-- at first. The person responded positively and was excited about my offer to help and then all the sudden it turned into something huge-- way more than what was intended, and she actually was offended and upset in the end. This person does not know me, so I think that has a lot to do with it-- if she did she would know I would never intend to hurt anyone. But, most of it has to do with perspective. At first her perspective was in line with mine-- with no opposing thoughts-- the offer was what it was and that was it. Then, the opposing thoughts started creeping in, and I am sure that others were consulted and their perspective was different-- and on and on. So, overnight her perspective changed and all the sudden I became someone who intended harm. It really made me quite sad. What I know about this person is that she is great and sweet and I don't think anything bad about her at all. I am just sad that we live in a world that something innocent and kind could be twisted into something different. It is just really sad.

So, over the past few days I have been thinking of this situation and how quickly things can change. I thought if the same thing happened to me, what would I think? Would I react the same way? I don't know, maybe, I hope not.

But, I also thought of everyday life. What is my perspective in my interactions with everyone, and how does it affect the way I respond to different situations? When I talk to people do I twist their opinions so that I feel justified, or do I honestly listen to an opposing opinion that is valid. I decided that I needed to really see things from other people's points of view more often-- especially when I have been offended or hurt. I try to do that anyway, and I really believe that there are not very many people in the world that intend harm or offense, but there are still times when my perspective influences me to react in a negative way. Like when I am driving, and someone does something really stupid while I am trying to mind my own business and I react like they did that on purpose. Of course they didn't, but it interfered with me minding my own business, so they must have tried to ruin my day :-). So I get mad and honk or tell them they are a dumb driver under my breath (I am sure that makes all the difference in correcting the behavior). What good did that do? Not one bit. Did that person ruin my moment, or did I? Yep, it was me that ruined my own day. Same thing with my kids. When I have to tell Sarah five hundred times to do the same thing, is it me or is it her that changes my attitude? Usually it is me and my frustration with the situation. I need to change where I am coming from, because sometimes I am just coming from the wrong place. I need to adjust so that she has a clear understanding of where I am coming from and what I need from her.

If my perspective is wrong, I need to change it before I let it hurt someone else. I affect my life more than anyone else, and it is my own fault if I let other people affect my life in a negative way. I know people make mistakes and hurt us, but I hope that I always can adjust my perspective to include the perspective of others and understand where they are coming from, and what their intention is. Sometimes others are coming from the wrong place, but most of the time they really don't mean to. They just have a different perspective.

So, this has become another therapy sessions for myself, thanks for enduring. I needed to turn something that was hurtful into something positive for myself. I hope that I have learned from this whole crazy situation, and I hope that I can always remember that word when I am dealing with people-- Perspective. It is a good word to remember. Intention is another good word, I will remember that one too.

So, if I ever get offended, please remind me of that one word, and hopefully, I can see from someone else's perspective what the situation is to them, and then maybe I will understand what the situation really is.